A broad that’s abroad, Brooke asks
“Will Jeff Mangum of Neutral Milk Hotel be appearing with Olivia Tremor Control at All Tomorrow’s Parties in April?”
Yes, he actually will. Cool eh? Pretty snazzy! But he will be wearing a disguise. He’ll be dressed as the second coming of Kurt Cobain. He will also try to play the part. And sadly in the end it’ll all be quite shit. But the rest at All Tomorrow’s Parties will rock harder to make up for it, and that’ll be rad.
Super Flunky, serial number: 76 needs to know
“Splinter or Mr. Miyagi?”
Mr. Miyagi, only because Splinter giggles every time Mr. Miyagi says “Wax Off”.
the Tricky Pants asks
“What about your favorite cocktail? Tell me about it.”
2 parts Drano and 1 part Grenadine garnished w/ a Twizzler. It goes down smooth with the delicious taste of cherry. Mmm mmm. I’m getting thirsty just thinking about it.
Bean Jackson chimes in with this
I am a muppetfromspace, which leads most people to believe im gonzo. WRONG. Im Yoda you dumbasses. maybe not in actuallity but in spirit. tell me which muppet you are and why.”
Let’s see. I’m cranky. I’m self important. I’m old. I like sitting up higher than everyone and passing judgment. I think that makes me Waldorf or Statler.
the loverly Cara asks
“who do you like better…me or Liz? Haha…answer if you dare.”
I dare! You. But only slightly more than one of those cocktails I was going on about earlier.
Dono needs to know
“who would u rather eat from the same plate, wear the same undergarments and sleep in the same bed with if i give u these choices and why ever would u (u must choose)…john tesh or gerardo (u know…the rico suave guy)?”
Tough question. Do I pick based on musical ability or raw sexiness? I hate to back down from a question. This is a tough one. Dono, why’d you have to do this to me? YOU BASTARD! You know that I really want to pick you! Why do you tease me with promises of Gerardo and Tesh? Huh? TEASE! Go to hell! BURN BURN BURN!.. Oh, Tesh of course.
Tricky Pants is back for more with
“What is the exact formula for the hardcore rocking that is Dollface?”
Coincidently enought it’s 2 parts Drano and 1 part Grenadine only this time garnished w/ pure, 100% Columbian Coca-Cola.
Bean Jackson is also back
“IS THE NEW TMBG OUT??????? I must know!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
It just came out today. Do you like making me a corporate shill? Do you? I just had to sell out and pimp They Might be Giants because you asked. Are you getting a kick back? Huh? Is this one of those online street team subtle promotional things? You ass hat! That’s not what “Ask Rad Jose” was built for. Dammit Bean, you’re off the list!
And lastly, the wonderful Gizzy Fish poses this
“dont you hate it when you reach in the fridge for sweet delicious grapes, and they end up tasting like motor oil and banana peels? What Would happen if you combined the super hero powers of grape and mango? Would there be a new snapple flavor in the near future?”
Of course I hate those terrible grapes too, Jose is only human, even if he exhibits god like knowledge power beam thought currents. If you combined grape and mango you would create a fruit vortex of flavour that would render your tongue not only a shade of lovely green, but put it in a state of bliss. This bliss is so irresistible that the tongue will not taste anything other than this wonderful Grape/Mango flavour for the next hour. This turns you into a kind of anti-taster, and you can perform certain heroic feats as such. Like eating your best friend terrible cooking! Winning dares on eating disgusting things! Um, ah, other money making ventures! Snapple actually fears letting loose this power onto the masses and thusly it’ll never be an official Snapple flavour, but if you break into their secret base in West Virginia and sing the Meow Mix song they will give you a case for the cost of a Buffalo Nickel.
And that’s all i have for today. Keep asking away kids, we’re at the halfway point here, only so long to go before the smarty machine that is my brain is kept to myself again.
This month is the somewhat triumphant return of the very popular and interesting “Ask Rad Jose” segment of my journal. So, in the tradition of Dr. Science, Dan Kennedy and Dylan Wissing i present to you “Ask Rad Jose”! Seriously you may ask me anything (not math) and i will attempt to answer it. For it is true: i have no shame! Just pose a question in the comments section and i will answer them to the best of my ability in my next “Ask Rad Jose” LJ entry… it’ll be kinda lame, kinda flash!