Top 5 Number Twos

Assistants to the big boss in any form, that’s a number two. Second in command and even more sometimes. It’s the life of a number two. So now I’m listing my five favorite number twos!

Number 2 from Austin Powers
Admit it, this is the first thing you thought of when you saw this was going to be the list for this Friday. He’s the second in command to Dr. Evil, and if you ask me, did a better job of dominating the world. Also, here he is in his superior form lat 90s, not that wussy Rob Lowe 60s version. Also, that Eye patch is totally boss!

Dr. Girlfriend
Before she was Dr. Mrs. The Monarch she was the number two to The Monarch, Dr. Thadeus Venture’s arch nemesis. As much as I was into watching Venture Brothers for, well, the Venture Brothers for the first season, somewhere in season two I really started watching for her and the Monarch and their messed up relationship.

Commander Riker
Capt. Picard’s number two, and he referred to him as such several times, so it counts! Beardless or not he could play a mean saxophone. Did he ever do that on the show? Or just in that Phish documentary? Seriously, can anyone clear this up? Oh yeah… and space battles, hitting on Deanna and stupid sci-fi junk.

Various No 2s from the Prisoner
Ever revolving doors for the head of the Village and main tormentor for No 6. Some No 2s are a lot more fun than others, and in the end we all have our favorites. I think the first No. 2, the gregarious bearded one, the woman with the cat & what I like to call the Playboy No 2 were the ones I liked the best. I should say “so far” I have only watched 12 of 17 but I don’t really see that changing.

PENCILS!
The ultimate number two! It’s always there for you, and just admit it, you’re totally an effing evil scientist deep deep down!

23min of Ska : Trinity

Here we are, another 23 minutes of ska. What’s really been fun with this project is pulling out some CDs that I haven’t listened to in years and rediscovering some old favorites. I hope this has the same effect for some of the listeners and introduces something new to others. And for the last song I couldn’t find my Catch 22 CD so I went with the Streetlight Manifesto version. Catch your copy by downloading it here.

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ask rad jose : who?

Just who do you hell do you think you are?
Some crazy, possibly homeless, lady outside of the 7-11.

I’m Radley J. Phoenix, while my massive intellect towers over you common humans, I’m a kind man. A 22nd Century thought form “tulpa” sent back by a slacker wanna-be rock musician to act as his reconnaissance (and sometimes avatar) to prepare him for the invention of time travel. I also fight Gnostic Demiurges that would prevent the world from becoming awesome. You see while I have a star inside of my head and a black hole in my chest yet I’m benevolent and here to help advance our species. I program my robot army only for good. Now stop messing with me, I don’t have any beer money for you, you modern day street harpy!

Hey you slackers, ask me a damn question! Do you have a question that you’d like to ask rad jose? Ask me, I’ll totally give you the best answer you’ve ever heard!

5 Television Show Theme Songs that are Super Boss

This is easy to understand. 5 TV theme songs that totally kick ass. At least I think that they do. Theme songs started going downhill in the 90s, if they were ever used at all. I know why, adding more time to advertising took away time for the show, so something had to be cut, the theme song was a casualty along with full screen end credits. But these songs are all totally rad!

The Prisoner
They totally covered a lot of this awesome theme with sound effects, but it some how adds to it all. And yeah, the song is over at about 2:10, but the shows intro adds about another minute to that. Man, they must’ve had a lot of time back in ’68!

MacGyver
I was recently reacquainted with this song through parodies of the opening. Then I remembered how awesome it was and it pretty much became the whole reason I thought to make this entry.

Simon and Simon
This show was a favorite around my house growing up. That sax solo still gets me. Simon and Simon had some really lame theme song the first few seasons until it got changed to this. Wise move Mayor of Television!

Hawaii Five-O
This just might be the greatest show theme song ever. The only one that gives it a run for the money is the final one on this list…

Magnum P.I.
Was there really any doubt this would be on here? Little known fact, for the first few episodes this was the closing titles theme and not the into theme!

ask rad jose : blue as the sky

A question from the illustrious Bobby Moseley,
why is the sky blue?? serious question

Oh young Bobby, fairest of all the Moseleys, you should know, all questions are serious on Ask Rad Jose! There’s not a single one that I don’t give seconds of research and thought to before answering. Frankly, I’m a bit insulted that you would add such a line to your question, but beggars can’t be choosers, and your question made the cut. So why is the sky blue? See the sky is a reflection of the eyes of all the wide eyed blue eyed folks looking up into the sky, curious about the universe. This is why blue eyed people make poor astronomers, the damn blue reflection when other blue eyes are looking up too, they only add to the problem. When a certain ratio of blue eyed people stop looking up the sky gets darker and darker until it’s night, and comes back the next day after they wake and start looking at the sky. As you may remember, the sun is held up & shines by the will of population of Earth and has NOTHING to do with the sky color. It’s all about the blue eyed slackers that look in the sky all day while lounging in fields. Why does this only work for the blue eyed? Apparently the sky is an Aryan, and that you’ll have to take that up with him, I’m not backing up that bigoted fat ass!

Yes, this is a rerun, come on, cut me some slack! I was busy last night w/ the VDing and all. Also, you slackers haven’t asked me a damn thing this week! So I repeat, do you have a question that you’d like to ask rad jose? Ask me, I’ll totally give you the best answer you’ve ever heard!

5 Things I Actually Miss About Snow

I’ve lived away from snowy, or really even for that matter really cold weather for the last 3 years. To tell the truth I was always a snow hater. Hates it forever. But after talking to my Cousin S-Bomber the other day I was reminded of a few of the things I actually do miss about the cold and ice and snow.

Bitching About Snow
Man, I really miss this one. Cutting down any idiot who says nice things about snow. Really, are you unemployed or child hoping for a snow day? If you have to drive through it to get to work and you like snow, you’re an idiot who deserves everything you have coming to you when you slide into a telephone pole. I’ve been waiting to get that off my chest for the last few years. I feel better now.

Girls in Red Pea Coats
This more that not stems from a horribly delusional crush I had in my HS days on a girl at a coffee shop who I saw once wearing a red pea coat. It isn’t something I obsess about now, but it is always a welcome site. Out in LA during the winter months there’s not one damn reason to wear something that heavy when the sun is out e.g. the opportune time to show wearing one off. So basically it looks kind of ridiculous and I end up thinking how sweaty she must be rather than cute.

Scarfs
It’s the same as with the pea coats, it is not often cold enough to necessitate one. Sure, a lot of people wear them fashionably, but that seems so foreign and strange to me. Scarfs were invented for their function, even the coolest scarf looks really dumb in the light of day. Evenings in LA are a different story, and scarfs are nice, but I hardly get the chance to wear mine and I get all sorts of jealous I guess.

That Calming Glow in the Morning
Snow reflecting the sun off of its surface in the winter gives a particular shade of light coming into your window in the morning that can’t be beat by anything else. Not ever pure Summer sun light can best it. It is oddly comforting and if I didn’t have to leave the house for 3 months I could really have gotten to enjoy it a hell of a lot more.

Seeing Fat Guys Slip and Fall
Really, is there anything better/awesomer?

23min of Ska : Following

Doubled up by popular demand, it’s 23min of Ska!

I decided that once a month wasn’t enough, so now there’s 23 minutes of ska for you twice a month, on the 11th and on the 23rd. Like last time I had a lot of fun putting together these songs for you to enjoy, so I hope that you do. And here’s hoping that you download it.

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ask rad jose : 30yr old rock star

JenSea, hailing from the Crossroads of America, asks:
what are the chances of rock stardom at 30?

It’s never too late to sell your soul to Satan. He doesn’t care how old you are, he just wants that sweet sweet soul meat. But it’s always a wise idea to have some blackmail material on the devil though. You don’t want to end up being a rock star for a while and then suddenly become some has-been, washed-up gutter dweller jangling on your 3 string guitar for pocket change from passer-bys who make fun of how bad you smell while you’re still in ear shot. No one wants that!

Do you have a question that you’d like to ask rad jose? I can help!

Winterbrief – Unwrapped

Winterbrief was a duo from Philadelphia PA that specialized in thier very own brand of synth heavy dance pop. Winterbrief was first introduced to me by my friend Chris Bradley who had just saw them the weekend before. If I remembered right he said that “it seemed not many people liked them except for me and Tyson (Markley) and we both agreed that you’d love them.” I thought that was sad for the band, but awesome for me. Later, at practice for the short lived live version of Lost Letter Society, Chris lent me their debut CD which I officially kept once Chris went solo with the act again. This CD was later stolen by the 3rd member of the group, Tlas, so I had to go and purchase it myself. That CD was the soundtrack one night for me and Wolfie aimlessly driving about town, nursing the wounds from and then confronting his ex-fiancee. Note: he wasn’t 21 yet so no booze for us. That CD made me fall for the band, and at the time I was sure the sound they were doing (similar to my favorites bis) was going to be the future of music. I was wrong in the end, but that didn’t matter, just because the masses never caught on only means they missed out on some good music. Not me though, it lead me to find and collect everything they put out! In the end they put out 3 CDs, a 12″ record and 3 7″ records, some of which seem to be sadly going completely out of print. The A side is completely exclusive to this release, while track 1 of the B side found its way onto a Captain Beefheart tribute and the second onto their previously mentioned 12″.

Side A
Unwrapped
Superman on Tin Foil

Side B
the Past Sure is Tense
Amusing Ourselves

Artwork
Front, Back & the Record

My 5 Favorite Comics… EVER!

Back when I was about 14 my friend Jeremy Glass took me to a local bookstore during an open campus lunch, for the express purpose of picking up comic books. This was back in 1993 when things were going crazy, what with Image just starting up and all. For that first year I was reading pretty normal mainstream stuff from Marvel (Infinity War & other assorted Adam Warlock books), DC (Reign of the Supermen) and Image (WildCATs, Gen 13 other Homage studios books). Which was all well and good, but if I hadn’t eventually found some of the books I’m about to list after that first year I doubt I’d've been reading comics at all by the time I was 16.

Scud: the Disposable Assassin
He’s a robot, that’s an assassin, living in a messed up crazy future and his main rivals are a monster of the apocalypse and Ben Franklin as a voo doo priest. At the time I first read this I only knew half of that, the first issue of this I bought was #6, when Scud was down in Kansas with his werewolf arm and it was just so hilarious. I couldn’t get over how crazy everything was in the book or how great it looked! I was seriously hooked. Scud really helped form what my idea of humor was, the strange and wonderful with a sarcastic edge that was also full of childlike glee. This book continued to come out on into my early 20s when I was working ACME Comics and I pushed it as much as I could, I really was all about this book. Then it stopped being made just short of its to be last issue, and to tell the truth, even if Rob didn’t come back 10 years later and wrap it all up this would still be one of my favorite books ever.

Mister Blank
Sam Smith is your everyday kinda guy working a crappy job and who can’t even ask out the girl he has a crush on. The comic follows the day he unwittingly goes up against some robots and gets mixed up with clones, evil scientists and a conspiracy as old as the Bible. I don’t think anyone ever read this book except for me and Rabbi and that’s a shame. The art had a slick style and the dialog was snappy. It is also one of the few comics out there that deals with an actual adult characters, and not just a bunch of older stuck-in-neutral teens and for that reason it makes the giant robots that much more fun. It’s an even bigger shame that we haven’t seen far more work from Christopher Hicks!

Scott Pilgrim
Scott is a normal 23 yr old boy in a band who meets a new girl. To win her love he must defeat her 7 evil ex-boyfriends. While I started reading all the rest of the books on this list in my late teens and early 20s, this is the only one I started with in my late 20s and I think that makes me appreciate it more. It reminds me of me and my friends in our mid 20s and all the stupid things we did, going to shows, dressing up for no reason, drinks, house parties, playing in bands, that kind of stuff. Plus it has this 80s/90s video game vibe and references that just sends it over the top. This book makes me giddy and I can’t wait for the last book to come out, or the movie.

the Invisibles
The book follows 5 members of a secret organization battling against physical and psychic oppression using time travel, magic, meditation, and physical violence. I took that description from wikipedia because I just couldn’t think of how to sum it up. Its about everything, its about nothing. This book opened my eyes, accept life as it come and to stop being so hard on myself. This book made me a fan of Grant Morrison’s writing and directed me towards the novels of Phillip K. Dick who then became one of my favorite authors. It’s lame to say, but this comic changed my life.

Hectic Planet
In the far flung future there’s space ships, aliens, and robots, yet, everything is still pretty much the same. Hockey, ska music, drunken ranting and being stupid in your 20s are all still there. I could never get enough of this book, and even when he isn’t working on it, creator Evan Dorkin does put out plenty of other quatlity work, but this is the book that touched me the most. I can identify with Halby & Blue! I want to go see the Trombone Girls open up for the Mad Planets! I want to pin a Jersey Devil’s badge on my plaid jacket!

In the end I can honestly say all these books created distinct worlds that felt lived in and awesome, and just slightly different than our own. That’s the closest thing to a common thread that these books have going on. Maybe that’s something I like, stuff that’s pretty regular but at the same time a little more heightened, a little bit of irreality to go along with the everyday.

Comics I love that didn’t quite make the list “Madman”, “Bone”, “Dork”, “NextWave”, James Robinson’s “Starman”, “Planetary”, “Seaguy”, “Doom Patrol” (Drake and Premiani’s run, Grant Morrison’s run & John Arcudi’s run especially) and at various times “Deadpool”.