Little Lord Bruce asks
“When is it appropriate to lie?”

This is simple, on Opposite Day. That way technically you are telling the truth.

all the way from Sunshine, the florida state, Mr. Flunky asks
“if it would have happened, who would have won the fight between Vince Neil and Axl Rose?”

i think Axl is just crazy enough to pull out some sweet moves that none of us knew he had and kick Vince Neils ass. Axl is well known for studying nearly dead martial arts techniques, or is it not well known? Well if you didn’t before you know now, and that’s what “Ask Rad Jose” is all about.

the very lovely Costello Folds (not her real name) wants to know
“If you were a member of the X-Men, which one would you be? (and you can’t say Wolverine, because everyone wants to be Wolverine)”

Easy: Quintin Quire. Okey, this is true. Not some normal “Ask Rad Jose” style send up. i would be Quintin Quire. Pudgy face, glasses, misfit, half crazy, part Phoenix Force, that’s who i’d be. And i could never be Wolverine, my brother already is.

Jane (who’ll follow yr car anywhere) asks
“why does leg hair grow slower in the winter then in the summer? Shouldn’t it be the other way around so your legs can stay warm in the cold?”

Actually that doesn’t happen to everyone. In fact i’ve never noticed any flux in my leg hair growth season to season. i think that you just need some more pretzels, root beer and honey in your diet. You’ll be all good after that, i’m sure of it.

Tricky Pants sends a question my way
“do you believe in the power of febreze?”

The first commandment of Febreze is that “You shall worship no other god than Febreze” isn’t it? So do i believe in the power of Febreze? Hell yes i do! i would hate to be dammed to end up in the Land of Dirty Laundry, and it smells. Do i believe in the power of Febreze? Heck yeah, this is America isn’t it? And if you don’t like it, get back to France you Commie Nazi wanker!

SkaGirlie hits me up with the classic
“should I go all the way?”

Of course you should SkaGirlie, nobody likes a quitter!

and here’s our final message for this session
“Dear Jose,
Do you think it’s a good idea to stop static cling with slices of spam?
Curiously Confused”

Actually C.C., i think it’s much better than using Flaming Hot Cheetos. It’s the “goo” in the spam that kicks that static cling right out. This is a tip for all those that don’t practice such static cling ridding actions. And on the plus side you get to smell like meat and you’re the most popular kid at the animal shelter!

There you go kids, more knowledge to put in your head! Keep the questions coming, you only have ’till the end of the month to learn everything you ever need to know!

This month is the somewhat triumphant return of the very popular and interesting “Ask Rad Jose” segment of my journal. So, in the tradition of Dr. Science, Dan Kennedy and Dylan Wissing i present to you “Ask Rad Jose”! Seriously you may ask me anything (not math) and i will attempt to answer it. For it is true: i have no shame! Just pose a question in the comments section and i will answer them to the best of my ability in my next “Ask Rad Jose” LJ entry… it’ll be the most exciting time of yr life!


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