5 Twitter Updates I’ve Thought Up but Never Used Because My Aunts Read it

But they don’t read my blog, wheeeee! The first two concern my job. The third is a silly joke, the fourth I actually never posted because I didn’t want my girlfriend to think I was being lazy around the apartment all day and the last one is based on a true story.

Just watched “16 Amateur Lesbians.” I don’t know, they seemed like professional lesbians to me.

Just watched “8 First Timer’s on Spring Break.” There’s not proof of Spring Break nor any “first time-ing”.

Ladies, when I say looks aren’t important I mean for me. You, you have to be gorgeous.

Was there something I was supposed to do today besides be drunk & watch Frisky Dingo Season 2?

God dammit! Fuck, fuck, fuck! I just fell down the stairs at work!

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